Pastiche of Life

Hi, If you know me you’ll know i got fascinated with Mystery Science theatre 3000 years ago and the Gentlemen that provided so many laughs over the years have been back for a while with their Newer project RIFFTRAX, I heartily recommend you dig through your DVD collection for that one horrible movie you never want to see again and find the suitable riff track for it. it will be most assuredly worth your while.

Until you do here is a Set of liner notes i did last week when i was bored watching The tuxedo followed by Halloween Resurrection. Out of context only some of it retains its humour and if i had the tiem i would go and record the whole thing but since I’m a busy working man nowadays you will simply just have to take the word as law.

Now remember check out http://www.rifftrax.com/ for some professional Riffs its all good all the time ^_^

Halloween Resurrection

Light end of the tunnel just a freight train coming your way.
Exposition exposition… H20 recap and mike lives again murder same 
person twice . An un-killable mute  apparently makes good strategic 
decisions…
Come and get me jackass.
"anyone out there" you sir just commuted suicide, Halloween Gacy… 
Real vs fiction.
One two mullets coming for you… Wrong movie doofus
Twinkie of doom
Strangled scream = investigate alone
P.S.A – don’t ride the spin cycle kids.
Mike has phenomenal upper body strength yeah he does one arm chin ups 
all day
Mouth breather!
My idol! Sign my mask?
Here he comes death by albino Shatner
Obviously not in bed. My sisters head is apparently a pillow
Curtis wins rabbit trapality.
You walk into every trap?
Yes actually your getting freaky Jamie
I’m miming a migraine
Wow those chin ups really helped.
Say hi to Freddy and Jason for me!
Statistics by Guinness book of records!
It lives!!!!! … Again
We deny the existence of this
Mike Myers likes Denali…I suppose carrying a kitchen knife you tend to chop alot just to pass time
Iron chef mike
Baby chair of evil!
Nigras in the hizzouse? 4chan would be so proud
Okay means at this party the pool is closed.
Yeah using someone’s home computer at a party… Social no no unless 
your in the movie hackers then it’s plot necessity
Mikes mouth breathing is putting me off…
Ummm.. Well suppose that can become a social thing… What big 
brothers back on?
Critical studies teaches you scatological theory if anything taking it 
up the butt could become a preoccupation
Large groups plus Internet someone’s demanding to see a PoWnEd video.
Ah spare masks that’s where he kept them
That is one bitchin media set up… I personally go for projectors….
Ohhh mikey doesn’t quite like keeping inside the lines.
WTF a cruciform pacifier… Mike had a right to lose it.
Oh this is resident evil now…all we need is an eagle crest!
Or his parents loved a bit of slap tickle and branding.
Bookie in the dirty dark playpen now that’s entertainment. Ohhh she 
gives great mind jobs too…..mmmm
Dammmmnnnn! Taiwan you bastards! Taking all the prop department jobs! 
Outsourcing is a bitch
Mike looks so surprised. Hmmm yeah busta I have nothing to say maybe 
dayyyym but that’s not worth it
Kill it kill it with fire… Oh it’s busta rhymes… We don’t need 
fire the way he’s eating the scene it’ll implode on his dialogue… 
Reaching critical mass on the mofo’s
Mike calls him mr pipeeye (Slaps for Bad punnage)
And he’s called brunch… Wow how avant guard rodent et fennel.
Those at home playing the home game that’s murder…
And this is drugs…
Hmmm kay…psa be dammed…
Tonight michael we are cheech and chong
Daown… He channelled arnie’s Ghost there….Ghost?…. Yes the Ghost of his respectibility
Yes stop the cameras turn them off let’s go home.
Wow you were watching in silence till now? That’s avid attention
Sadly that was for Dr horrible. Ohhh human screams are like kettles.
On no this old door and windows are impenetrable
There’s upper body strength…
There’s a head like a ripe grapefruit
Why does he breath so heavy
Let’s go ginzu on his ass.  Mighty chef vs iron mike
I always keep a spare right… Oh yeah here.
Wooo! A.R.G. time folks! Fuck lonleygirl
Meta when your watching people scream at a tv you have gone to far out
Hmmm interesting tactic head first
Ahhhhhh! Guy I don’t know!
Because boldjng and caps didn’t slow him down warning her
Www dead guy at my crotch
Busta you scare me most of all
Busta angry, busta Kung fool, busta fail
Now kill it kill it! We know what is going to happen.
Yeah yeah B. Least Decker remembered to keep an eye
Think all the upper body workout has his neck inclusive
Stage 1 raise knife
Stage 2 pause
Stab repeat
I’m still focusing on his cooking why keep spices upstairs if he has 
everything underground… Give it a rest that’s for movie theorists of 
another generation to discuss. What the culinary motif of slasher films?
Yes the ghost of scream and popcorn. Mike and fennel I could go on…
Bludgeoning via chainsaw?
Mike doing hi undertaker impression
Serrated blade for pleasure
Vistas back… Yay
Yes! B yes.
His balls the one weak spot never exploited
Balls + electrify…. 20 years and that’s what finishes it?
Yes he is yes he is… All still very true
Like your mom!… That was unneeded
Ummm… He’s dead right? Right?… Like he can’t be done can he?

Ahh!!!!!! 
eyes!!!!!

The Tuxedo

Deer pee
Waterbag death P.S.A. Young children and Nameless characters shouldn’t play with plastic bags
Don’t like his hair. (water dehydration death)
Flame retardant (burn baby burn)
Nice rack (ignored joke)
Jennifer love hewitt is irritating.
Spiderman (1960 version) followed by an over the top wall slide
Running . Lemasse breathing to cope?
Hahahahaha! Fucking hewitt up! Wooo!
Gunrange guys are win.
"I miss you"? What ? he didn’t like her at the top of the flick
What? Oh fuck he fucked up James brown! Hahahahah..aha…ha…no! 
Don’t ruin it you stupid movie, don’t do it Jackie stop the butt dance!
Blondes love a jiggily ass criminal masterminds do not this is a truism.
Cheryl…something…? "long streak of love"
Into my lab and play… Glorious wet play.
Jennifer in the pool panty shot
"her voice reminds me of my mother"
Walking through the party with a canister of gatourade

comming through!!!!!- does it all look like pee?
Doctor simms and tequila? Biochemists know how to party.
Security don’t mind intruders long as they leave no trace
Supercriminals love to boogie
Waltr styder – water strider
Simms + tequila = talkitive and not very good at simple research.
Hatchery door  + mermaid huh?
Cigarettes save the day.
Never drink the strider at the bottom the hangover is a killer.
Is this how senators get a date?  So many questions stream of  conciousness mimic and layer.
Meh you tried dude no waste of cash here
Love hewitt has no right to be humble and girl next doorsy…wait what 
constipated…happy or horny? Hmm provocative
Jackie chan looks funny…apparently.